Last Full Day in NYC (Day 3)

My last full day in NYC and I wake up to clouds and rain. While disappointing at first because I had wanted to walk around and explore more areas, I realized maybe like in Oregon..maybe it would lesson and I could still venture out.
After doing my routine of getting warm clothes on and walking down the street to get starbucks.. I decided to take as much in of NYC as much as possible.  Taking in the sites and scenes and hearing the sirens and loudness never stop, I realized how much I had missed the quietness of home in Oregon. The ability to hear myself think, the enjoyment of people watching without the interruptions, and feeling like I fit in to a world where people say, "hello" and ask how you are, even when they don't know you. Just the quaintness of manners and respect level in such a smaller city and I was missing it. Though I will admit, I did have a few encounters with people who were nice to me, asking me out, starting conversations, and even friendships, so it wasn't all a cold shoulder experience being in NYC.
Making my way back to my hotel, I noticed more restaurants and places of interest to go and tour and I wish I could of had more days to visit. Weird how strange it feels to be in a place that is constantly at a go and how much I thought maybe I would fit into this fast pace environment because of my own personal decision in my life to be as busy as I have been over the last 4 plus months of working up to 15hrs a day. Maybe I could fit into this type of busy life if I had more time, but the reality of it is; would I like it long term made me question whether I would actually want to. ?
When lunch time arrived, I received a text from my newly made friends from the night before to go and enjoy some dim sum. So I scheduled to meet up with them, but first decided to get a little pampering and see how they do manicures in NYC. It was definitely a different type of experience and double the cost as getting it done at home. It was still nice though to get a little rest from walking around so much and to have my nails turn out so pretty.

Dim sum meet up was fun, the place was pact and the waiting list took about 40mins. It was pretty good food and experiencing so many different types of food while visiting with friends made me feel a little like a new york city girl instead of just a tourist. After eating, we all went out separate ways.  Maybe we will all stay in touch and visit together again.

The rest of the day was open for me to decide on how I wanted to spend the rest of my last day in NYC. After brainstorming, I decided on having my fait land me in the big fancy shopping area of Soho, NY. 
So like a new yorker, I took a lyft and had them drive me to the area. (I thought about taking a taxi, but then realized probably having having a smaller company drive me around would maybe allow me to save some money to purchase some fun items from the area).
Arriving to the Soho area, I was surrounded by historic style buildings, structures that seemed almost painted and lighting that glistened down the streets from fancy lights from expensive stores. In this area, there were no big flashy signs, or colorful distractions. It was very opposite from times square and the rest of that area of NY.
Walking down the streets, one of the first things I noticed and heard was music. After walking  few blocks I came upon a band and solo musicians. It almost felt like a dream..being in a place surrounded by stores and exquisite decorations found in the windows of all the stores...and now running into live music. These two musically talented people were a joy to experience and I'm so glad I got to be there to hear it all.

Walking around, I ventured not only window shopping, but actually walking into all these big, name brand stores....and I was amazed at everything I was seeing.

I never thought me of all people would be walking into places where the simpliest of products and materials cost a starting amount of atleast 1/4 of what I make monthly. The idea that this is the type of stores that celebrities visit to go on a shopping spree. I felt myself unable to feel like I could fit in to such an environment.

Like a typical tourist..I had to take picture next to specific famous stores to have proof that I was actually there. Going into the Louis Vuitton, I instantly fell in love with everything in the store including shoes, clothes, accessories of every kind. Then the reality I would have to win the lottery if I wanted to actually purchase anything from such a store. I even got brave and asked the cost of a simple key chain with a logo and it started at $500.00. Needless to say.. I did not purchase anything at any of these wonderfully expensive stores. 

A very memorable experience of visiting this area and perhaps some day, I will get the opportunity to spend a little more time and if I win the lottery, to visit and perhaps buy something from one of these very fashionable stores. 

As dinner time was approaching, I decided to go and tour K-town. 

K-town...what an interesting area of a NY.  A short lyft drive to an area that would have taken atleast over 12hrs to take flight to.
It really felt like stepping into what I remember of South Korea. (Thought that remembrance was over 15years ago), The buildings are covered in signs, where you see multiple levels of food, beauty, and social type businesses.  The streets filled with all beautiful asian people, and handful of caucasians walking the streets.

These eateries and restaurant pictured above are just a few places I discovered thru looking up places to try on Youtube, from famous chefs and people visiting and creating youtube "vlogs."

Looking thru asian stores, it was nice to see so many products specifically catered to my skin type and body size, and a part of me has put visiting Korea in the future.  Something I noticed right away, is how beautiful women were their fare skin, flawless complexions, simple and perfect makeup. I was impressed and the amount of skin care products in Korea, made me realize that skin care is the biggest obsession in this part of the country as far as I can see.
On a personal note, I felt awkward and weird being around such people, I felt as though I was a Caucasian walking around, and even though I was admiring people's beauty, I felt like I was quite homely in the way I looked myself. I'm not sure why I always seem to feel so intimidated by people of Asian background, but I seem to land in the same mind games every time I'm surrounded by so many of them. Perhaps visiting more of these types of places and experience these types of cultures in the future, my anxious and intimidating feels will lesson over time?

For dinner, I tried "Baekjeong" Korean bbq restaurant. This place was festive and covered in Christmas decorations. The wait list to get in was over 1 hr 30mins..but I will admit was definitely worth the wait.
Sitting at a time alone, having a table covered in tons of food all to myself on Christmas Eve felt so strange. Strange to be in a different environment on what use to be my favorite time of year and even more strange to be here alone.
Realizing that I was going to be getting on a plane in the morning to head back home to an empty house was almost more than I could handle, and it took every part of me not to cry into my food that lay before me.
Life around this time is not the same and even though I went away for the Christmas break, it didn't seem to take away the pain of what I have loss. The memories I cherish so deeply and the wish I could have gone home to my baby to celebrate his favorite holiday, seemed to sink down into the pit of my stomach and all I could do was feel my heart crumble.
Being away, running away, never makes anything easier. I know through all my photos and experiences shared over my trip, that it seems as though I was enjoying every minute of my days and they were so filled with distractions of beauty that one might think I didn't have time to even break down and cry. But in all honesty...most of my smiles were fake; I will say that traveling was an interesting experience and it seemed like all my days and nights were filled with happiness...but pictures can be deceiving.
Moments of thinking about my baby, of wishing my baby was with me because he would have loved seeing so many things and experiencing such beauty with me was always flooding my mind. I realized that pain, loss, heart ache...a person can not run away from it, or take a break from it no matter how far they travel and how busy they try to be.

I survived my first solo trip alone....to a city on my bucket list. One check done...and more to come.

First Full Day in the "Big Apple" (Day2)

The first morning in NYC and I woke up to blue sky and the sun shining. I also woke up to sirens and cars honking along with all the noises that come with a big city. I was surprised that I actually fell asleep, but I guess my venture of walking around exhausted me to the point of falling asleep and getting a decent night of rest.

As I crawled out of bed...the reminder that I did not have a coffee machine in my room saddened me at which point I threw on clothes, tossed my hair in a bun and braved the hussle and bussle to go grab coffee. Thankfully Starbucks was just down the block from where I'm staying. So I promptly went it and waited my turn in line. I noticed the shop was quite small from what I had expected in a big city. The amount of people that were in their too surprised me, and the cultural diversity was interesting.
Waiting patiently in line..I had friendly faces and people smiling and then I had people who were a bit rude. One specific example is a guy standing who wasn't even standing in line, had rudely gotten in front of me and demanded to order extra food. Not saying excuse me or getting back in line himself, he just rudely tossed himself in front of me. How rude...is all I could think about. I felt bad for the starbucks worker as she then helped me with what I had wanted and just looked frazzled and irritated. I ordered my drink and said " Thank you" and gave her a quick smile as I gave her a tip. I hope in some small way...maybe the jester of gratitude to her helped her day go a little better.

Nothing like a simple breakfast at a diner to start my official morning in NYC.#theaterrowdiner

My next to do for the morning was to find breakfast food. As I walked around the street, I ran into this quaint diner that had fun pictures of people and events in the past. The food was simple and filling, the service was quick and a good way to give me energy for the possible day ahead.

After breakfast I headed back to my hotel to get ready for an event of a lifetime. Something I had always wanted to do and now was going to be checked off my bucket list.
The ballet performance of "George Balanchine's "The Nutcracker" in NYC.  I will say, I was lucky to get these tickets as when I purchased, there were only one ticket available for the whole time I was going to be in NYC. The tickets were so expensive and I felt myself feeling guilty for even considering to pay so much for a performance. But then I took the plunge and just went for it...and I'm so glad I did. 
I got myself all dressed and even curled my hair and took lyft to go to the performance as I was wearing pretty high heels and I was not about to walk 20 blocks to the show.

The performance was at the Lincoln Center at David H Koch Theater where New York City Ballet is performed. Walking up the stairs of the structure I was so full of excitement and shock that I was actually there. A place I had dreamed of, a place I had always wanted to be, and the place I wanted to study when I was growing up. As I walked thru the lobby area, I couldn't help but notice the art, the way the architecture of the building, and I was already in aw of the place. Then walking up the stairs to find my seat of the performance..looking around, I almost had to pinch myself as it felt like I had the best seat in the house. I was in 1st Ring and A6 was my seat. This Auditorium was beautiful and I was sitting only a little from the middle on the right. 
My pics don't show how close I was, but I could see the smiles of the dancers and all the facial expressions, seeing every detailed of movement and whether they pointed their toes, I was that close to the stage! Now I know why the tickets were so expensive and it was totally worth it. 

Getting to see George Balanchine's "The Nutcracker" in NYC. 
The performance was incredible!

A breath taking performance and a once in a lifetime opportunity that finally came true.  Watching the production, I felt my insides melt and yearn for the days of dance. A time where nothing in the world mattered, where the discipline of controlling every muscle in my body gave me life in a way I can't explain. Watching dancers, I couldn't help but want to be in their shoes again. Beautiful yet painful and I wanted to be in them. Obviously my love of dance hasn't gone away and maybe some day, I will have the ability to try and get back into ballet.

At the end of the performance I had a surprisingly question and comment from a gentleman sitting next to me, asking if I myself was a dancer?  I told him I had been and no longer do it, but still love to see the performances. His response" You look like a dancer and I hope you get back into it some day". I had never been so surprised at a person's comment and I felt honored that even after years of not dancing..that somehow my appearance or the way I held myself, came off as a dancer. It made me feel good and warm inside and now I'm driven to try and start classes when I get back home.

When the fairy tale performance was over..it was time for my to take a lyft back to my hotel so I could change my clothes, shoes specifically and find a place to eat for early dinner. As I was browsing my phone, I got interrupted by taxi drivers asking me if I needed a ride and quoting me prices. One guy specifically kept pushing me if I needed a ride and i politely declined probably half a dozen times. Then he asked where I was from, what my plans were the rest of the day, so I answered a few of the questions. When it came to where I was eating...he invited me to go eat with him and I couldn't help but laugh. I denied a ride from this guy multiple times because he was too pricey and now he was willing to take me out to dinner and drinks and supposedly wanted to get to know me..no strings attached as he called it.. The annoyance was becoming increasingly worse as I kept denying his request and all I wanted to do was be alone and not pestered to go and do something with a total stranger.  Don't get me wrong, perhaps if he had looked like a model, I might have changed my stance on free dinner and drinks, but that unfortunately was not the situation.

Needless to say..I finally got away and grabbed a lyft to take me back to where I was staying. After changing my clothes I headed on my way to get food and the main thing on my mind was Korean BBQ. So walking in the direction of much anticipated korean yumminess...I came upon an old style Italian Restaurant.  By this time I was so hungry and the pure fact that Italian is one of my favorite style of food...I totally caved it.

Being a single person, it was easier for me to sit at the bar area instead of waiting for a table. While eating delicious spinach cheese raviolis with meatballs and enjoying a glass of wine, I surprisingly started up conversation with the bartender and other ladies sitting at the bar. Come to find out we were all visiting and the people I had met were from DC but had originally come from China.  The night was full of socializing and drinking and for a moment..it was nice to have company..even if it was only going to be for one meal. The ladies were fun and our dinner socializing turned into an invite to see the Christmas tree at Time square and clubbing.  
I definitely took them up for Christmas tree as that was one thing I wanted to go and see while in NYC around Christmas time..but the clubbing? I couldn't help but laugh at the idea...and feeling so old at the moment..that the though of being out late was exhausting to think about, let alone actually do.  I know..I should have probably tried to go..but its just not my cup of tea, the idea of pretending to have a good time at the club when in reality, its all annoyance and going broke paying for drinks and dealing with sloppy people just did not seem interesting to me. Plus i didn't want to wake up absolutely miserable on my last day in NYC. 
Needless to say..I passed on the clubbing..but enjoyed the conversations while walking to see "The tree".

A walk to Rockefeller Plaza with some new friends from dinner. 
Almost falling into the Christmas ball fountain.
Grabbing some hot tea to keep warm from the cold. 
Viewing the ice skating and enjoying people try to skate.
Ending with the event topped off with a pic in front of the famous Christmas tree! And of course have total strangers bomb our photos. 
#unexpectednightoffun

While on our walking and being a typical tourist..my new friends and I enjoyed taking silly pictures every where and enjoying the atmosphere of Christmas everywhere.

The streets were so crowded and it was so bright everywhere from Christmas lights and street signs, building signs, that it almost felt like daylight. 

Walking up to the tree I couldn't help but feel a little like a kid. Awing all the beautiful twinkling lights and loving all the color and beauty of this moment. 

However my feeling of happiness dwindled as I thought about how much my handsome little man would have loved to see this tree too. How he would have smiled seeing all those colorful lights all lit up. The pain of having him gone during this special time of year.. it was almost too much to handle.  So I politely said good bye to my newly made friends and headed back to rest and cry. 

Manhattan NY Day 1_ SO MUCH WALKING!

The morning turned out a bid rough for me as I was just having one of my mornings where I just crumble in the shower and it feels like the water is piercing every nerve in my body. 

Some how I managed to just start my morning checklist of what needed to be packed up as it was my day to go into the big city of New York.
From my friend's home in Westport, Ct. it was about a 1.5 hr drive to get into the city. The drive in itself was pretty interesting, but I won't divulge on the exciting car ride. I will just say we all made it safely into the big apple.
Some of the interesting things we drove by was the "G. Washington Br" which is the bridge that goes into Jersey and going by the Ports that had multiple ferries. My most favorite discovery was the "Intrepid" ship. This thing was a beauty from the car, I can only imagine what it looked like up close and personal, let alone looking at the airplanes up close. (one of my fascinations)

When we made it into the city, my first destination was my hotel. Luckily I only needed to walk a few blocks from where we had parked the car to get to my destination.

Staying at the "pod times square hotel". The room was pretty small..probably only 150 square feet, but had almost all my necessities of living...the one major thing it was missing was a coffee maker! :/ Bummer to wake up to no coffee, but I soon discovered thru my walk that starbucks was just down the next block! Thank goodness..!
Getting to my room..I discovered the lobby area was on the 3rd floor and my official room happen to be on the 19th floor!. 

My view in all directions from looking out of my window on the 19th floor!!!! The craziest thing about this view....is that I'm actually afraid of heights..and well..lets just say I keep a distance from the window as much as I can outside of taking this photo.  
The scenery itself is incredible though and I am fascinated by all the high rise buildings and the incredible amount of time it took to build and create all of them. 
As for the traffic...its not as crazy as I imagined, but it is pretty nose to nose type traffic with lots of honking. 

After unpacking my belongings and getting settled into my itty bitty hotel...It was time for me to brave the big city chaos and go and find some food! I was so hungry as it was after 1pm by the time I got to this point and the only thing I had all day was coffee.  
My first stop which happened to be across the street from my hotel was this place. When I walked by it..it looked quaint, and the pic of soup dumplings made me instantly cave. The idea of something warm and comfort food in my tummy...I couldn't go wrong.  "Ollie's" was the place...and I will admit...it was not what I had imagined and I sadly only ate about half of my soup dumplings before gulping down more hot tea and going back out in the cold. 

 Walking around Manhattan is a world wind of different sites and things to see. It was all so fascinating and I found myself lost in the world of busy crowds of locals and tourists. I walked around for a solid 4.5 hrs and let me tell you...my little leg are on fire..my face and hands are  a bit frozen..but all in all...it was totally worth it.

It seemed like everywhere I looked, I saw things I had always wanted to do and enjoy. I saw art that was amazing and weird and Christmas blew up..especially walking in the dark. All the Christmas decorations were giant sized and so bright and it made me think of how my little man would have loved seeing them. He always loved Christmas as much as me it seemed, especially all the colorful lights and I couldn't help but cry at thinking I wish he was with me. 
On the other hand...it would not have been a place for a little one to be..with the chaos, the loudness, the cold..my little one would have not done well and I would have rather had a movie night of snuggles in a warm blanket with him instead of shoulder rubbing with a bunch of strangers in a huge city.
I wouldn't necessarily call this part of New York magical by any means, but it was definitely interesting. Any person who loves being super busy, doesn't mind the crowds, and enjoys walking everywhere..I think would just do fine in such a big city. 

One of my stops along the many blocks of walking was the "Columbus Circle, Time Warner Center". This was a 4 story mall pretty much. It was was warm...which is why I decided to browse the inside.
A unique discovery I found were these light up ornaments. They changed all different kinds of colors and were almost mesmorizing to just look at.
All the shops were cute, mostly name brand and all super expensive and maybe if I had won the lottery before I came on my wonderful trip., I would have been on a shopping spree galore.

I will admit...my love of shoes, handbags, jackets...fell in love with NYC in an instant. 
My idea of shopping craziness all came so true staring at so many shops and it made me think about movies I had scene. 
At this time..it was "Sex and the City"..I continued to repeat the movie and what Carrie Bradshaw had quoted in the movies and I couldn't help but smile. Her fascination, obsession, and love with expensive things..mainly those involving a heel...made me realize..perhaps I should change my own name to "Carrie". 
Though her spending habits and cave ins to expensive things are something I would probably never do, it was fun to imagine myself as maybe a possible New Yorker...in another life.

Continuing on my adventure...I happened upon Central Park!.  A 7mile plus walk around the whole park to get to all the tourist traps and even an offer for someone to bike me around all those miles. But me, being me and having not much anything else to do, decided to treck it on foot. 

While getting in my exercise, admiring the scenery, and people watching...I kept thinking of the movie "Home Alone 1" with Macaulay Culkin. One of my all time favorite Christmas movies. Visualizing the places in person and where they had created the movie, and starting to feel a little like the lost child in the movie...wondering around, not having an idea of how to get home or where to start, or curious if a stranger will start to follow me around. For my own sake...I was hoping I wouldn't have to be stuck in the park in the dark...

Outside of getting lost in the park..I was surprisingly visited and surrounded by these little creatures.. They were so cute...and I was wondering how these little guys were ok being around so many people. They were pretty adorable though..and I think if I could have taken a chipmunk home... I probably would have..

The little birdies seem to stick in pairs and I thought how wonderful that must be...to be surrounded by someone you love and care for to go around traveling and enjoying good eats. 

The walk around Central Park seemed to be never ending and at this point..I could feel my legs start feeling like jello. Then unfortunately I came upon the iceskating rink...and while my heart wanted to go..my body was pretty much like "hell no"... and that sad answer popped into mind before I saw the incredibly long line of people. 

I did however manage to climb one of the any boulders in Park to get some really neat scenic pic of the city at dawn. The reflections again the building of the sky I think was the neatest thing about my photo on the upper left. 

And of course...I had to take a full body pic of myself in my wonderful warm jacket I had gotten as a gift a few years ago from my mother. Needless to say..I"m in love with this jacket for this trip..not only does it feel like I'm wearing a blanket..it pretty much covers my entire body...and yes..it does have a hoody (shown in previous pics). 

It's interesting..the weather said it was suppose to be in the 50s today? but with the wind, it made the air so much colder.

Tennis Shoes..are also a genius thing to wear when walking for miles....and luckily I had caved in a few weeks ago and bought some new ones for myself. Thank goodness. 

As the night grew dark..it was time for me to somehow make it all the way back to my hotel. However I needed to get food first.. "Red poke" was just a block from my hotel, so I thought I would try it. It seemed like a healthy affordable way to create an asian bowl my own way. 

It wasn't too bad.. a fast food place for a quick asian type meal. I did however miss the veggie factor..so before heading back to my room, I stopped by a small grocery store to pick up veggies, fruit, and chips.

Finally back in my cozy little room...and after setting down my things..I decided to give my legs the much needed rest they needed. By this time, I thought my legs were going to fall out of my hip sockets... how in the world I survived so much walking..I will never know. All I do know..is I am in terrible shape...and I guess I know what should get put on my to do list when I go back home to PDX.

Before I knew it...I fell asleep.

When I awoke...I started mentally creating my blog, going thru all my pictures and trying to create collages for all my pics. So much work...and I find it strange how I create work to do even when I have normal work off?

I guess it just feels good and normal to be productive, even if the productivity is being creative. 

While I stay busy, its not work...just a creative outlet that I'm hoping will help me heal.

To end the day's post..I thought I would share my "fortune" I had received earlier at lunch today. I'm not quite sure what to fully think about it...but its warming up to me.

Last Full Day in Westport, Ct. (Day 3)

I woke up today to the sound of rain...lots and lots of rain and it made me think of home. Thinking of home of course made the tears fall and apart of me wanted to just on an airplane. My heart skips a beat when I realize what I would be going home too, and my heart doesn't know if it can handle it.
Being so far away from home, I can get lost a little in the distractions that seem to come my way. However it never seems to fail that around every corner comes reminders of what my heart is missing.

As the rain subsided, i decided to wipe my tears and venture out to downtown Westport. Driving around town one of the main things that caught my eye was the water. I decided to park at this location and just look out into the wet and cold weather and do what I could to not fall apart again.

Another deep breath and i stepped out of into the cold. I let myself just wonder around town, I tried to take in the quaint brick covered buildings, the little boutiques, and the familiar big city stores.

It was fun to walk around and of course I had to visit the most famous stores in the area such as Tiffany & Co. along with Anthropologie. These stores I think are  a women's two favorite stores. A place to get special jewelry and the other place being 4 stories was a combination of home decor and clothing. A dream come true for some..but I will admit..it was all so expensive, but so nice to browse and see whats offered to make my invisible wish list.  I will admit..I did fall in love with an item...a pink leather jacket that fit me perfectly. But I did have restraint and i didn't cave into the much wanted item. (Pic below)

This little taste of browsing fun stores has given me motive to take on the big city of NYC tomorrow!. I have a feeling I'm going to be pretty overwhelmed and at the same time wishing I had won the lottery and also brought a bigger suitcase.

I will admit, one downfall I seem to have run into in the small town of Westport, Ct was the lack of restaurants. Which if anyone knows me just a little, they know how much I love my food and how much I want to experience taste and culture in the big city.  I did find a sushi place to stop by for a little bit of a snack on my window shopping adventure.

"Pink Sumo" was a cute little sake bar and sushi restaurant, but sadly a bit disappointing in the sushi department at least in what I had decided to try. The staff was nice and attentive, but if felt bad for one of the waiters after clearing my plate as he turned around the corner to the kitchen, he had accidentally dropped the dishes and it went crashing to the floor. I hope for their sake, they did not get into trouble. Working in restaurants myself, I know how slippery these little sushi trays and dipping bowls can be.

As my adventure of shopping came to a close, I drove around town admiring the Christmas lights. It was a tough drive back to my friend's home and the joy of Christmas time just isn't the same. The lights being lit up, all the colors of the season, people smiling, and families mingling...I find myself lost in a strange world I can't seem to relate to anymore.

I wonder how long this feeling will last...how long will my heart feel shattered and will I ever love Christmas as much as I once did..?

Day 2 in Westport,Ct.

The 3 hr time change is a hard adjustment and my normal hour of going to bed around midnight at home in Oregon turned into a 3 am bedtime in Connecticut. A rough night of sleep continued waking up several times a night to body aches, little noises or the pure fact it was just too quiet.  I find my senses are not use to the quietness that comes with being awake late at night and I'm always having to have music on or the tv on to get myself to sleep at night. Unfortunately, most things, are on a timer and so when I wake up in the middle of the night, the quietness overwhelms me and my emotions of heartache start kicking in.

By the time I rolled out of bed, the first thing on my mind was coffee! Of course, I can't seem to go a day without coffee. The addiction of coffee has become a daily routine, no matter where I am at or traveling. I find it a heart warming start to the day, whether I have my plate full or its leisure, some how, coffee seems to be my clarity time every day.

As early afternoon arrived, it was time to get ready for my friends cookie exchange party. Something I had not expected to do on my trip. I didn't know if apart of me was going to be able to survive being surrounded by so many ladies, trying to socialize and not fall apart or get overwhelmed.
I did cave in and got myself ready for the party, dressing up in a skirt and sweater, I took a deep breath and ordered myself a lyft ride.

It was an interesting ride in the lyft, as I started small conversation with the driver, I figured they would be my warm up to a home filled with ladies. I soon found out that my driver was actually looking into visiting portland and possibly starting a new work venture. An unexpected conversation about my home and perhaps in the future, we will have the opportunity to connect again.''

Arriving to the home of the cookie party, it was filled with Christmas music and beautiful women all mingling and getting to know each other. A wonderful afternoon of learning about others, the places they have visited, the places they want to visit, and learning about where they are from and how long they have been in Ct. I also got some good advise on great places to try out while in NYC.
Such warm and loving women and I"m glad I got the bravery to go.

Food of course was amazing as Italian food was on the menu along with several times of cookies. I think in all, there were probably about 25 women.

When evening came, I got a quick drive by show of downtown Westport. It is a cute, quaint, upscale little downtown area and is actually on my check list of things to do for tomorrow, my last full day in the area.

There is actually one store my friend and I were able to get a quick sneak into called the "Terrain".
This store was incredible, filled with plants of all called, covered in Christmas decorations and the first thing I recognized were 3 main decorated Christmas trees.

My first thought when seeing these gorgeous trees is which one my baby would have loved the most if he was still with me. The ideas of how I would have decorated our Christmas tree this year if I had chosen to have one, and all the fun decorations my little one would have loved to see on the tree.  My favorite out of the three....is the one in the middle. ( A bigger version of pic below)

A tree full of color and wonder with an eclectic mix of decorations. The artistry that went into creating this amazed me.

As I walked around the rest of the store, I was finding myself getting inspiration to create a terrarium for myself when I get back home. The only thing I have to be careful with is making sure I pick the right set of plants (Succulents) that will survive my home environment.

By the time my friend and I were done browsing and made it back home, I couldn't help but fall asleep and take a nap.  I find it weird how tired a person can get from only doing a few social things., but then again, maybe my body is trying to take this time to recuperate?

Westport Connecticut at Christmas Time. (Day 1)

Traveling to the East coast for the first time since I was a teenager. The idea of traveling alone to a place I'm completely unfamiliar with is filling me with excitement and anxiety.
I have always wanted to travel to NYC, but my first stop is Westport, Connecticut to stay with a friend whom I met when I was eighteen years old and traveling to my homeland of South Korea to do a little history research on where I came from and what my culture is like.

A week extremely busy and working up to 15hrs a day has finally come to a close as I sit at the airport waiting for my red eye flight. Taking Alaska airlines on my personal adventure. As I patiently wait to get on the plane, I realized myself examining the people around me, looking at the couples, the families, the single people and wondering if anyone was in the same new scary boat as me..traveling to a place they had never been to. I also thought about how hard of a flight it was going to be for the little ones, being up past their bed times, being in a closed cabin airplane, and how scary it must be for them to get stuck with all these strange people.  I also thought about how glad I was to be petite and how benefiting it would be on the airplane, as I would have tons of leg room and sleeping on an overnight trip should be no problem at all.

To bad the hope of sleeping didn't come true as i happen to sit in the middle of the row and getting comfortable in my seat was almost impossible as my feet could barely touch the floor and I seemed to lose circulation, or trying to slouch seems to make my back break and give me a huge kink in my neck, and then there was the interruptions of people and realizing how much more uncomfortable they probably were. Needless to say, I think I managed to sleep about 30 mins off and on at most during my whole 4.5 hr flight.

As I walked out the airport doors, the freezing cold air, woke my exhausted body right up and I was then warmly greeted by my friend whom I'm staying with in Westport.
Being a passenger in my friends jeep, I got the exciting ability to watch the sunset, and admire its beauty.

When entering the city, surrounded by water, I felt my heart ache, as it reminded me of the coast and all the memories I had made with my loved one. As I took a deep breath, I was invited into the city with trees and bridges lit up with Christmas lights and a beauty country scenery with gorgeous houses.
As we got to the house, I was stunned by the beauty of my friend's home, and the loving generous kindness of her family.
While getting a tour of her home, I got to see two deer outside in the neighbors yard; which is the last thing I had expected to see so far away from home of Portland, Oregon. It was however really cute to see a "pair" of deer together.

The morning was going by quickly and sight seeing and the possible creation of a list was on my "to do" until tiredness overcame me and I decided on a nap instead.

After getting a few hours of rest, I woke up to blue skies and the sun shining brightly into my room.  It was time to get up and officially start day 1 of my trip.

The day ended up being filled with leisure, cooking, and filled with a house full of kids. At this time, overwhelming feelings started to rise within me and I felt like it was time for me to take a brisk walk outside. I bundled up to the best of my ability and walked outside into the very very cold. I ventured to take photos and try to discover beauty in the midst of empty trees, frozen water, mud covered trails. I think I walked about 30mins when I started to go numb in my limbs and the freezing cold air was trying to get into my innermost being.  I will say, my walk was not without fail and I discovered a beautiful frozen pond, where the lighting of the sun reflecting off the frozen water...picture shown below.

Beauty frozen in time...literally. This picture could not be more perfect and I'm so glad I went on my very cold, short walk around the country neighborhood.

As the evening progressed, moments with friends fill the hrs, along with baking my yummy three ingredient peanut butter cookies, and helping to hang up photos of peoples Christmas cards filled with memories of their families.

Day 1 was a busy one, with its hidden challenges, and a beautiful picture. The most cherishing moment of the day though, I will admit, is having my friend's 2 yr old girl giving me a hug and kiss before her bed time.
In truth, a small part of me shattered as this little one sweetly hugged me and gave me the most gentle kiss. A reminder of what I miss so much at this time in my life, but also an incredible blessing that I was not expecting.